XII

THE GODLY WOMAN

Unargued I obey; so God ordains:

God is thy law; thou mine: to know no more

Is woman's happiest knowledge and her praise.

by: Milton

Most of us, who are unequally yoked, have very independent personalities. It is good to be independent. God never told women to be totally dependent on anyone except Him.

Proverbs 31:10-31 is about the perfect wife. She is a very independent woman.

Prov 31:10-31 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart

Of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do

him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth

also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known

in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

How does God reconcile independence with being submissive to your husband? God created woman to be man's helpmate. As a helper, we need to be independent thinkers. We can't help our husbands make wise decisions if we agree with everything he says. He needs someone to discuss things with so he can see and discern the best course of action.

Prior to Al becoming a Christian, we very rarely agreed on a course of action. I obeyed him anyway so he would be saved. Even now, I follow his decision if we disagree.

Since Al became a Christian, we try not to embark on any course unless we are in agreement. God called us to be unified and when we are, we are in God's will. This calls for patience on both of our parts. God said we should not be hasty and lose our way.

In order to be a helpmate, we, sometimes, need to be independent in our actions. If we work outside our home to help bring an income, we must be independent on the job. If we are cleaning house and raising children, we must be independent enough to discipline the children while our husband is absent. Yes, husband and wife should agree on the type of discipline used. Children thrive on unity.

A helpmate needs to be creative. Sometimes, the best helper is someone who has new ideas. A husband may be so busy making a living that he doesn't have time for creative thinking. When we have a new idea, we should share it with our husbands and after we are unified (in agreement), pursue the idea.

After we discuss something with our husbands, whatever they decide is what we should do. As you grow in the Lord and become more like the woman in Proverbs, your husband will have more confidence in you and praise you more.

The Proverbs woman did only good for her husband and never did anything that would harm him. She bought material, made clothes for her family and sold clothes to bring in more money. She then, took the money she made and bought a vineyard. This brought in more money. She could afford servants and imported food with the extra money.

She took care of their children and saw that they were fed, dressed and loved. You will find that one of the greatest blessings you will ever have is when your children praise you for being a good mother. The day my new daughter-in-law called and said thank you for the way you raised your son was among one of the happiest days of my life.

She was always too busy for gossip. If we stay busy taking care of our families and their needs and working to improve our lot, we will not have time to participate in the things that cause hurtful feelings.

We can not be a Proverbs woman without the wisdom of God to lead us. God's word should be read each day. In his word, we find our guidance. (Ps. 139:1-18) God's word says that the peace of God is to be our guide. Peace is calm confidence. We are to find the place where we have calm confidence and stay in it. In other words, if you are doing something and you start to doubt, you have stepped out of God's will by something you said, did or didn't do. Stop immediately and ask God to reveal to you what caused the calm confidence to go away. Turn around (repent) and correct the wrong. The peace will come back and you can continue.

This is what the Bible is talking about when it says, "walk in the Spirit." If you walk in the Spirit, you will remain in God's peace and perfect will.

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